Spring is here, and I see the lesser me out there

The feeling of being alive!

Spring is here~ Another year has passed…

Spring is the season of life, where everything comes back to life from the cold harsh winter. Life never seems to lose against the winter, but I myself is slipping away day by day, even when spring is here…

I decided to took some time last Saturday to visit a park near by my area to take some photos of the blooming cherry blossoms. But to my dismay, most of the flowers were still budding, so it wasn’t the full glorious moment that I longed for.

Looking back at all the photos taken, I see the lesser self in me. After some post processing, it seems that I had portrayed myself as one who longed for hope, showing the pessimist inside of me.

The photo of blooming cherry blossoms was the only consolation that I got. Suddenly I feel, maybe patience could bring me somewhere I wanted to go.

Never give up

Time is priceless, unless you have given up everything. But it could feel forever when you are waiting for something or someone. Can time make up for what we missed?

Beating the odds and shine as bright as gold

Someday, we will find what we want. Someday.

What’s your purpose?

Money, the path of life

Here’s something interesting that got me thinking suddenly while having Eminem’s “Space bound” playing at the background…

Today during work, my supervisor suddenly out of no where, asked me a question in English, which went something like this : What is the purpose of your life? Wow, that was a pretty deep question to answer while you are busy dealing with work at hand…

Well, at that moment, I couldn’t really give a satisfying answer at all. But from time to time, I have been reminding myself that my current purpose right now is to make people around me, especially my family happy no matter what. I don’t think I had achieved much, since my choice of working over here is one of the things opposed by my parents in the first place…

But come to think of it, when you embark into the working stage of life, everything is about money. This world couldn’t go around without money. Yes it’s true that money cannot buy you love or happiness, but without money, you won’t gain love and happiness either. I found out that it is just as mind boggling as the saying of “The way to have joy is to share it with others”; how can anyone share any joy when he or she doesn’t even have any joy in the first place?

So it seems that money has become the main motivation of my life, and soon it will become the purpose of my life. You can’t start a family without money; you can’t sustain a living in society without money; hell you can do nothing if you don’t have the money. Everyone judges people by how much they earn, by how big their houses are,  by how big the cars they drive. That’s the least worrying stuff for me. Sometimes I do envy the rich, but I would be satisfied with a moderate salary that can keep me going on comfortably.

*Sigh* What am I planning to do for the coming future? To tell you the truth, I have no idea what the future holds. Until now, my life turns out to be a series of unplanned events; seems to be a chain of events happening one at a time without me making any big plans ahead. Things come and go, and I just grab onto them by chance I suppose.

Well, now all I know is, I don’t want to return to the so called “normal life” everyone’s having. I want to at least lead a life which is slightly special then others. I guess that’s why I chose to stay instead of going back. Who knows where this will lead me to in the future…

Anyways, looking back at the photo on top, it’s something pretty amusing to me actually. I don’t know the actual name of the plant, but it’s known as life plant in some places. The tiny cute thingies on the leaf are actually the young of the plant, and in some coincidence, look like the sycees or better known as “元宝” in Chinese, the shape of gold ingot in the early days in China. Those tiny plants form a path at the edge of the leaf, and it seems to me that it is trying to say, “money is the path to life”. Is it me over-thinking, or is this plant trying to teach me about life?

All in all, the purpose of life is clear. I am not the kind of person who is going to do something to change the world, I am just some insignificant nobody who’s trying to work his ass off to achieve something abysmal in life.

I hope my life soon brings me another good turning.

We all have histories that made us who we are today.

What does it take to be a beautiful butterfly?

We meet countless people in our lives. Everyone has their own personality, their own history that made them what they are today. We cannot take away the fact that what they encountered in the past could have changed what they are now.

Behind a beautiful smile, there could be a dark past. That pleasant someone you have met could have their very own story that they wouldn’t want to recall and share. For someone who doesn’t have a strong mind and heart, that ugly past could consume them, making them vulnerable, making them feel that the world is constantly going against them.

What does it takes for a caterpillar to become a butterfly? How much struggling does it need in order to grow wings, and be able to fly with grace and beauty? Even though it’s wings might not come with stunning colors, or mesmerizing patterns, but I bet, it has gone through a hard process like every other butterfly, from hatching from an egg, hiding itself in a pupa, and then transforming itself into a butterfly.

We humans might not go through such complicated process, but many things happen in our lives, and each event can change us in a particular way: changing the way we think, changing our perspective on life, and so on. And my humble opinion is, all these tiny and big events have shaped us what we are today. These are the things that made us unique.

It isn’t easy to forget something significant in our lives, no matter it is something good, or something bad. The more we try to forget it, the more we think about it. I think the only way is to accept everything that had happened, and take advantage of every second we have in our lives to make everything better for the future.

Even though, from time to time, when we look back in our past, we might see unpleasant history of ours, all we can do is utter a sigh, and live on with it.

Imperfection

Imperfect clovers

Summer is here, and when most of the flowers are dying away under the heat, the clovers are still standing, imperfect, but proud.

And yes, those are clover flowers. I was surprised to find out that those are clovers. I had always thought clovers were love-shaped leaves, and when someone told me that the flowers in this photo are clovers, I confidently argued with him. Wikipedia proved me wrong, and I was really surprised, with something I had always thought to be sure off.

Well, this proves that sometimes, someone might be correct, even though you think that you are pretty sure about what you have in mind.

This little clovers, might not be perfect under the beating sun, but they are certainly strong. Maybe we should always embrace imperfections; nothing is perfect. Sometimes we are being so judgmental that some small imperfections could ruin something or someone. They could be beautifully imperfect.

Someday, we might find out that we couldn’t live without one’s imperfection in our lives.

There are no miracles, there is no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Love? Luck, or fate?

These are some random clovers found in front of my house in Malaysia.

Frankly, I was trying my luck to look for any 4-leaf clover around the front yard. I guess my luck proved me wrong, and I couldn’t find any of the so called luck-bringing 4-leaf clover.

But instead, I found these, which I think were kinda cute. 3 clovers, with 3 love-shaped leaves, with nothing distracting around them.

Looking back at this photo reminds me that I am kinda desperate for love sometimes. Maybe I need some luck in finding my “perfect someone”?

I am someone who always believe in love, fate, and love in first sight. But interestingly, I had just watched a movie recommend by a friend, called “500 Days of Summer”. In this comedy/love movie, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with the girl, but the girl doesn’t. One memorable phrase that I couldn’t get it out of my mind is this: There are no miracles, there is no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Do you really think so? Does fairy tale love story only happen in movies and dramas? I hope not.

Maybe, I do really need some luck in this.

Ray of hope

Greens in the ray of light

This photo is kind of random. Nothing particular I wanna talk about regarding this photo. I just want to express my current fillings now.

I’m not a person with strong self-esteem, nor a person with strong opinions. I am always easily swayed by anything I have heard, or seen. This is pretty much my biggest weakness that I have.

I always believe that everything in life is fate. As long as u have faith in it, and just go along the flow, anything that belongs to you, will eventually become yours. I always tell myself, not to compare and compete with others excessively, and always be content with what I have, and be proud of what I had achieved, even though it isn’t any huge achievement at all.

It isn’t easy at all, as I always hear about how other people achieving better than what I had achieved. Being envious is just a small part of it, but thinking why I myself being in a “less satisfying” state is more excruciating than it seems. It’s hard to avoid negative thoughts, about myself, and about other people around me.

Everything happens for a reason. Fate more or less had already paved a path for us. Sometimes, we ask for more than what we want, especially seeing others getting something better. When something doesn’t belong to us, it will never come to us. That’s the other side of FATE, and I’m convincing myself to believe in that.

Sometimes, we need to think about other people who are less fortunate, or be in someone else’s shoes in order to know what they are suffering from. Self-appreciation could be a good thing too.

Always be content with what we have. Someday, a ray of light will shine upon us, lighting up a path in front of us,  leading all of us to our own destinies.

Dreams and reality.

Ready to fly, but rooted forever

Life is so contradicting, funny at times too. Like this particular plant that mimics the looks of a bird.

When we yearn for something we really wanted, we wouldn’t get it. Sometimes, we do not wish for  anything, there would be too many choices out there. Life is always about choices you make, deciding your future. Our fate is in our own hands.

We always wanted to soar for greater heights, reaching the pinnacle of our lives with astounding achievements that we had ever dreamt of. In reality, we are just rooted to the ground, forced to strive all day round, working hard just for a decent living. All these could be very different: either success or failure. If we could make the right choices, believe in the choice we made and work hard for it, with a dash of luck, we might just be able to accomplish anything.

Even in reality, it seems that we are forever stuck on the ground; but maybe dreaming of soaring to the sky could be just possible, if we really believe in it.  Who knows one day this bird flower will spread its wing and fly away?

All we can do is pray really hard, and try our best, so that everything goes smoothly…

They say this plant has a meaning: the birds bring luck and wealth to the owner. Hope this tiny little bird brings luck to anyone of us.

Life is like a mahjong game??

Choose it wisely

We always hear about people comparing life to a game of poker, like one of the song from Fort Minor called “slip out the back“.

Well, maybe life could be described as a game of mahjong too. You have to choose your tiles wisely, plan each move, and show no emotions. It’s all about knowing when to give up what you don’t need and gamble with luck. It is also important to know when to stop playing and give it a rest.

I myself don’t really know how to play mahjong though. But I’m sure it’s as fun as poker too. Try it if you have the chance.

The end, is inevitable.

Flowers on the ground they wilt away

“Flowers on the ground they wilt away, sun in the skies it fades away…”

This is how the song called “Monte” by Zee Avi begins. I guess most of you might not know who’s this singer named Zee Avi. She’s one talented and gorgeous singer and guitar/ukelele player born in the island of Borneo in Malaysia. She is now currently under Jack Johnson’s record label, Brushfire records. She was first popular in Youtube and now making headlines in the world with her beautiful voice and wonderful lyrics.

This song is so soothing, even though the beginning is a bit on the sad side. I guess it’s true, for everything will eventually come to an end. That’s how life goes, isn’t it? The most beautiful flowers, will wither away; the most beautiful sunset will only last for a few seconds. How pity good things never last long.

I guess, the most important matter is how are you going live the most out of your life… and not regretting later…

Do enjoy this song. Monte, by Zee Avi.

Rusted mind

Rusted, one way only

My mind is now as rusty as the gear, and being forced to turn one way by a cock. Turning back isn’t an option, until the cock is lifted up.

I sometimes hope that I don’t have choices, so that I am forced to take any given thing, not being complicated by choices, not being afraid of choosing the wrong thing, and be brave facing anything thrown at me.

Isn’t life much easier without choices?