Spring is here, and I see the lesser me out there

The feeling of being alive!

Spring is here~ Another year has passed…

Spring is the season of life, where everything comes back to life from the cold harsh winter. Life never seems to lose against the winter, but I myself is slipping away day by day, even when spring is here…

I decided to took some time last Saturday to visit a park near by my area to take some photos of the blooming cherry blossoms. But to my dismay, most of the flowers were still budding, so it wasn’t the full glorious moment that I longed for.

Looking back at all the photos taken, I see the lesser self in me. After some post processing, it seems that I had portrayed myself as one who longed for hope, showing the pessimist inside of me.

The photo of blooming cherry blossoms was the only consolation that I got. Suddenly I feel, maybe patience could bring me somewhere I wanted to go.

Never give up

Time is priceless, unless you have given up everything. But it could feel forever when you are waiting for something or someone. Can time make up for what we missed?

Beating the odds and shine as bright as gold

Someday, we will find what we want. Someday.

Make a wish~

Make a wish, in a totally different way

Stack it up, make a wish…

Who knows, it might come true without you even knowing?

Just wishing…

What’s your purpose?

Money, the path of life

Here’s something interesting that got me thinking suddenly while having Eminem’s “Space bound” playing at the background…

Today during work, my supervisor suddenly out of no where, asked me a question in English, which went something like this : What is the purpose of your life? Wow, that was a pretty deep question to answer while you are busy dealing with work at hand…

Well, at that moment, I couldn’t really give a satisfying answer at all. But from time to time, I have been reminding myself that my current purpose right now is to make people around me, especially my family happy no matter what. I don’t think I had achieved much, since my choice of working over here is one of the things opposed by my parents in the first place…

But come to think of it, when you embark into the working stage of life, everything is about money. This world couldn’t go around without money. Yes it’s true that money cannot buy you love or happiness, but without money, you won’t gain love and happiness either. I found out that it is just as mind boggling as the saying of “The way to have joy is to share it with others”; how can anyone share any joy when he or she doesn’t even have any joy in the first place?

So it seems that money has become the main motivation of my life, and soon it will become the purpose of my life. You can’t start a family without money; you can’t sustain a living in society without money; hell you can do nothing if you don’t have the money. Everyone judges people by how much they earn, by how big their houses are,  by how big the cars they drive. That’s the least worrying stuff for me. Sometimes I do envy the rich, but I would be satisfied with a moderate salary that can keep me going on comfortably.

*Sigh* What am I planning to do for the coming future? To tell you the truth, I have no idea what the future holds. Until now, my life turns out to be a series of unplanned events; seems to be a chain of events happening one at a time without me making any big plans ahead. Things come and go, and I just grab onto them by chance I suppose.

Well, now all I know is, I don’t want to return to the so called “normal life” everyone’s having. I want to at least lead a life which is slightly special then others. I guess that’s why I chose to stay instead of going back. Who knows where this will lead me to in the future…

Anyways, looking back at the photo on top, it’s something pretty amusing to me actually. I don’t know the actual name of the plant, but it’s known as life plant in some places. The tiny cute thingies on the leaf are actually the young of the plant, and in some coincidence, look like the sycees or better known as “元宝” in Chinese, the shape of gold ingot in the early days in China. Those tiny plants form a path at the edge of the leaf, and it seems to me that it is trying to say, “money is the path to life”. Is it me over-thinking, or is this plant trying to teach me about life?

All in all, the purpose of life is clear. I am not the kind of person who is going to do something to change the world, I am just some insignificant nobody who’s trying to work his ass off to achieve something abysmal in life.

I hope my life soon brings me another good turning.

We all have histories that made us who we are today.

What does it take to be a beautiful butterfly?

We meet countless people in our lives. Everyone has their own personality, their own history that made them what they are today. We cannot take away the fact that what they encountered in the past could have changed what they are now.

Behind a beautiful smile, there could be a dark past. That pleasant someone you have met could have their very own story that they wouldn’t want to recall and share. For someone who doesn’t have a strong mind and heart, that ugly past could consume them, making them vulnerable, making them feel that the world is constantly going against them.

What does it takes for a caterpillar to become a butterfly? How much struggling does it need in order to grow wings, and be able to fly with grace and beauty? Even though it’s wings might not come with stunning colors, or mesmerizing patterns, but I bet, it has gone through a hard process like every other butterfly, from hatching from an egg, hiding itself in a pupa, and then transforming itself into a butterfly.

We humans might not go through such complicated process, but many things happen in our lives, and each event can change us in a particular way: changing the way we think, changing our perspective on life, and so on. And my humble opinion is, all these tiny and big events have shaped us what we are today. These are the things that made us unique.

It isn’t easy to forget something significant in our lives, no matter it is something good, or something bad. The more we try to forget it, the more we think about it. I think the only way is to accept everything that had happened, and take advantage of every second we have in our lives to make everything better for the future.

Even though, from time to time, when we look back in our past, we might see unpleasant history of ours, all we can do is utter a sigh, and live on with it.

There are no miracles, there is no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Love? Luck, or fate?

These are some random clovers found in front of my house in Malaysia.

Frankly, I was trying my luck to look for any 4-leaf clover around the front yard. I guess my luck proved me wrong, and I couldn’t find any of the so called luck-bringing 4-leaf clover.

But instead, I found these, which I think were kinda cute. 3 clovers, with 3 love-shaped leaves, with nothing distracting around them.

Looking back at this photo reminds me that I am kinda desperate for love sometimes. Maybe I need some luck in finding my “perfect someone”?

I am someone who always believe in love, fate, and love in first sight. But interestingly, I had just watched a movie recommend by a friend, called “500 Days of Summer”. In this comedy/love movie, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with the girl, but the girl doesn’t. One memorable phrase that I couldn’t get it out of my mind is this: There are no miracles, there is no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Do you really think so? Does fairy tale love story only happen in movies and dramas? I hope not.

Maybe, I do really need some luck in this.

Ray of hope

Greens in the ray of light

This photo is kind of random. Nothing particular I wanna talk about regarding this photo. I just want to express my current fillings now.

I’m not a person with strong self-esteem, nor a person with strong opinions. I am always easily swayed by anything I have heard, or seen. This is pretty much my biggest weakness that I have.

I always believe that everything in life is fate. As long as u have faith in it, and just go along the flow, anything that belongs to you, will eventually become yours. I always tell myself, not to compare and compete with others excessively, and always be content with what I have, and be proud of what I had achieved, even though it isn’t any huge achievement at all.

It isn’t easy at all, as I always hear about how other people achieving better than what I had achieved. Being envious is just a small part of it, but thinking why I myself being in a “less satisfying” state is more excruciating than it seems. It’s hard to avoid negative thoughts, about myself, and about other people around me.

Everything happens for a reason. Fate more or less had already paved a path for us. Sometimes, we ask for more than what we want, especially seeing others getting something better. When something doesn’t belong to us, it will never come to us. That’s the other side of FATE, and I’m convincing myself to believe in that.

Sometimes, we need to think about other people who are less fortunate, or be in someone else’s shoes in order to know what they are suffering from. Self-appreciation could be a good thing too.

Always be content with what we have. Someday, a ray of light will shine upon us, lighting up a path in front of us,  leading all of us to our own destinies.

RGB, the representing colors of life.

Flying colors

Just how colorful can one bird be? I wonder how this bright bird can hide from it’s prey, or maybe, it has no prey at all.

I just like how the bright colors were shown in the feathers. And the bird seems like posing to me for this shot. What a valuable shot indeed!

It’s not easy to find 3 main colors: red, green and blue, at the same time, represented by the nature spontaneously.

Don’t tell me what to do.

Ignorant flowers

Life is pretty funny huh. Look at the flowers above. They are from the same stalk, from the same plant, yet the tiny flowers each facing different direction; seems like they all disagree with each other on something .

We humans too exhibit this kind of behavior. We might live under one roof, or maybe go through our daily routine together, but we might disagree on many things, or sometimes having some conflict, causing us having different views on many things.

How hard is it for us to get together well, respecting each other and live in harmony? I guess human instinct isn’t making this any much easier. Even for plants…

Another tribute to lomography

Lomo-grass

Another tribute to lomography, a fake one of course.

This shot was actually pretty flawed, in a good way, that it made this photo special. First of all, it was far away, and there were soft winds blowing that time when I tried to take this photo. In the mean time, I was sitting inside a car, shooting through the car’s side window. So it gave a soft-contrasting photo, with slight blur because of focus error and motion.

If you want everything to be flawless, this would be a total reject. But after you look it from the lomo-way, it seems perfect. Just right.

Everything is flawed, but it could be so perfectly flawed that it became special. Can you find someone who is perfectly flawed just for you?

Sun rise, or sun set?

Sun rise, or sun set?

What do you see in this picture?

While I was doing some editing on this photo, the song “Wake me up when September ends” from Green Day came on my radio. This song is pretty old, but it really makes me feel kinda sad. Pairing up this song with this photo, seems like an early morning sun rise could an instant becomes a late evening scene.

Maybe I always see things in a bleaker side. Should have changed the way I look at things.

Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day