Is this fate?

City of the unexpected

I miss you like crazy right now. I never knew this could ever happen in such a short time. Just 3 days, it only took 3 days to totally fall for you. I never imagined this would ever happen in this gloomy city of Shenyang, but it seems that it has. Your absence is driving me to the verge of insanity.

I have been thinking about what I should do just to get you right beside me. You make me feel that I had found my long lost friend. I miss the way how you would correct your glasses with your hands when you are talking, I miss the way you look when you blurr out when everything comes at you at once. I miss the time when we spoke in your hotel room, the time we spoke when we were alone together.

I really wish you would know how I feel right now. I will do everything for you. Would you do the same for me? What should I do next?

God please let me know.

Just like a caged animal.

Caged in, yearning for freedom

How often do you feel that you have been caged in an invisible prison, forced to spend most your time on routine tasks everyday, exchanging your freedom just to get ends meet?

How often do you wonder, have you ever threaded on the wrong path, maybe you had made a wrong choice or decision?

Have you ever thought that maybe you would be better off doing something else?

Have you ever wondered, where’s the love from your fellow human beings living around you?

Come to think of it, passion about something doesn’t last very long for us normal people. I remember myself as wanting to be some passionate engineer who can bring benefit to society, but it didn’t take too long to realize that this is harder than I had ever imagined.

I guess we have society to blame. We are living in a broken system, where freedom and love are long gone, exchanged with monetary means and materialistic mindsets. Most of us are selfish, involved in this rat race, thinking all about ourselves and never spare a thought about others. I myself had become obsessed with that, that I want to move on as quickly as possible to get whatever I wanted the most. I have really changed.

I always thought that the choices that I had made was right. But now I kind of doubt it. I need to find back my passion, my compassion that I had always have it in me all the time. It seems that I had changed a lot, and I think it would be difficult to find back my old self again.

I had always been a fan of the 1998 “Patch Adams” movie, which is based on a true story. It is a story about a nobody, about the process of this nobody, Hunter ‘Patch’ Adams, becoming a doctor who sees patients as doctors, healing patients with laughter and love, helping patients, taking them as friends. He is a living person by the way, and he is still continuing his effort by building hospitals which provides free medical care for those in need without the complications of medical insurance and what not. Patch had been my inspiration when I was young, and I think I need to find something which ultimately will make me happy for doing it, just like Patch being happy by helping other fellow human beings.

Maybe I should start making people around me laugh again? Is it possible to find back the long gone passion? I have only myself to ask… I want to feel the love around me, around the people that I live with, to feel satisfied with what I am doing. First, I need to share love. I really want to help, and get helped by someone else.

The sense of belonging…

 

Drowning, deeply…

"I wanna forget everything about her..."

Let’s get drunk and forget about everything.

Love is a funny thing.

Suddenly, you are deeply in love with someone that’s not significant at all, someone in plain sight that you meet and greet everyday.

She could be nobody until someday, when you started to realize that  you are deeply attracted to her. There are no particular reasons, but your love for her grows by the minute with every look on her.

Sometimes when you glance at her, chances are, she’s looking at you at the same time. When both of you crossed sights, hearts started to race for that particular few seconds, as if time have just frozen up for that very moment… That amazing few seconds of time, is all you need to make your whole day feel energetic again. Sometimes you wonder whether she thinks the same as what you think when you both are looking at each other…

If you could, you would want to tell her how amazing she looks like everyday; how bright her eyes are, how lovely she is when she pull her hair back, how much you want to kiss her gorgeous lips…

You try to be honest with her, telling her the truth that you liked her, and told her that you want to spend more time together. But without any good reasons, she rejects your offer. That’s the part where everything starts crumbling down. That’s how cruel she could be; not even giving you the chance to take the very first step…

What would you do next? Would you keep your hopes high and continue to tell her how much you love her, tell her how amazing she is to you? Or would you just give up all hope, sitting at the corner quietly glancing at her from time to  time, feeling the world is coming down on you?

For me, I would want to get drunk for a moment, and not think about her anymore. But the torturing truth is, you are going to see her again the next day. You cannot run away from the fact you still love her so ever deeply, and the fact that she will never look at you the same after knowing that you like her.

That’s how funny love is to me.

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother's never-ending love

I guess the hard part being a mother is to bear the pain when a child have to leave her and journey into the real world when he or she grows up.

Every mother would always wants their children to be by their side, for better or for worst.

But sometimes, all we ever wanted is just to show love and gratitude to them, doing what’s best for us and for our parents. Leaving them hurts us as much as, or even more than how it hurts them.

We should never forget how much they sacrificed for us, and should always remember and cherish them as much as we can, to repay a debt that we might never be able to repay.

Maybe just for one day, we should tell them how much we love them, let them know that how important they are to us.

Happy Mother’s day.

There are no miracles, there is no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Love? Luck, or fate?

These are some random clovers found in front of my house in Malaysia.

Frankly, I was trying my luck to look for any 4-leaf clover around the front yard. I guess my luck proved me wrong, and I couldn’t find any of the so called luck-bringing 4-leaf clover.

But instead, I found these, which I think were kinda cute. 3 clovers, with 3 love-shaped leaves, with nothing distracting around them.

Looking back at this photo reminds me that I am kinda desperate for love sometimes. Maybe I need some luck in finding my “perfect someone”?

I am someone who always believe in love, fate, and love in first sight. But interestingly, I had just watched a movie recommend by a friend, called “500 Days of Summer”. In this comedy/love movie, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with the girl, but the girl doesn’t. One memorable phrase that I couldn’t get it out of my mind is this: There are no miracles, there is no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Do you really think so? Does fairy tale love story only happen in movies and dramas? I hope not.

Maybe, I do really need some luck in this.

Would you accept my love?

Silhouette of love and passion

This would be my dream come true, if I could confess my love to that very special someone, so romantically, passionately, under the moonlight of an autumn night.

A silhouette which simply gives out the feeling of burning love and passion…

I guess a picture really says a thousand words, and I really couldn’t find any more words I can use to describe this special photo.

This photo was taken with Nikon’s D5000, shot in jpeg, courtesy of my friend who lent me his camera.